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Just got terrible news about losing one of my closest gaydad friends in the world, Gene Baugh, in Columbus, who raised his five kids.  I read his autobiography, although I don’t think it was ever published.  He was a huge fan of the Spanish language and had spent time in Spain in his youth.  I flew to Columbus to be in his marriage to a man in 1998, and he and I also spent time together at various gay parenting conventions around the country.  We originally met in 1996 in Minneapolis and stayed in touch quite regularly the whole time, sharing the drama of our kids and our lives before and after coming out.  He was only 56, and a big bear of a man (also very tall).

His daughter, Ruth, who lives on the West Coast now, as I do, went with my daughter and me to our first Provincetown Family Week.  Ruth and I recently got back in touch with each other and today she emailed me with the news that he had been taken off life support as he had requested be done if he should ever be in this state.  He had a stroke on Friday.

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1.  Oscar Nominated Coraline with Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher and Saunders and French.

2. The 2001 version of Planet of the Apes with hottie Mark Wahlberg, who I can’t explain why he turns me on so much, except for that (probably roid-enhanced) rocking body.

3. Evolution, a kind of silly sci-fi comedy, with David Duchovny (typecast), Julianne Moore (always stunning), Orland Jones (annoying) and very sexy Seann William Scott, whose comedy timing wasn’t exactly on in this movie, but he’s still very easy on the eyes.

4. Hackers with a young Angeline Jolie.  It reminded me of War Games mixed with Tron and was embarrassingly outdated, speaking of their speedy 28.8 baud modems.

As I suspected, Elinor Burkett pulled a Kanye West at the Oscars last night; what a loser.

I was also glad to see an African-American writer win for best screen adaptation for Precious.

In a way I’m glad Avatar did not win best film because I’m finally seeing it tonight, and it would probably be too crazy at the theater if it won.  I don’t think science fiction films have ever really won best film, and pure commercial value (although they never adjust for ticket prices or inflation) does not mean Oscar win either.  More artistic movies, like Hurt Locker, are apt to win.  They needn’t be epic, and the timing and politics for it were right.

My friend Ed helped me BBQ last night and Alex and her friend Kaylea joined us for watching much of the Oscars and the subsequent Barbara Walters special with Mo’Nique, Bullock and a retrospective since Barbara says she is not going to do anymore of these types of shows.

I have lots of friends on Facebook (almost the maximum, even though I’ve had to rebuild the profile several times) and other venues, but those numbers pale in comparison to the number of people I actually have in my computer’s personal address book.  I pretty much have kept track of everyone I have worked with, done business with, went to school with or socialized with at least my second year of law school (1996).  I’ve used the same basic electronic tool to do it, too (Microsoft Outlook), which I’ve customized the hell out of.  I should have database expertise on that alone.

However, I still can’t fathom having a fan page for myself just for the sake of having one.  If I reach the maximum number of friends on FB, then I will weed out the ones who have been evasive or who have incomplete profiles.  A fan page to me, would require that I have some special title or elected position that warrants admiration from complete strangers.  Perhaps some day I’ll be a well-published author with books on various subjects and will have actual “fans” but for now I’d really rather just have friends.

Those who have invited me to their fan pages, whether or not I’ve met them in person or not, should not be offended if I don’t join.  If I really like someone’s art work, I’ll join their fan page, but media whore that I am with all of the times I’ve been on TV and in print and with all of the columns I’ve written and articles I’ve self-published or formally published, I still can’t imagine myself crossing into the line of self-proclaimed celebrity without a body of work that stands on its own.

This kind of reminds me of Judy Tenuta’s line, “If you think I’m a proscrastinator, just you wait!”

The other quote I love to say from law school is “99% of doing something is starting it.”

The house is basically a two story single family home with 3 distinct bedrooms if you don’t count the two rooms in the basement, one of which was used for a bedroom, two full baths (one on each main floor), a kitchen with a nook, plus a distinct dining room and large living room, a fully fenced backyard, large maintained front yard and detached two car garage with driveway.

Here are some of the features we love about the house:

1. There is a full basement with an extra, unheated bedroom with windows and cabinets.
2. The main basement room has a washer and dryer already.
3. The kitchen has a dishwasher and kitchen nook with large windows for maximum light and even the nook has built-in cabinets.
4. Near the sink in the kitchen there is a window built out for maximum light for plants.
5. There are cabinets built in throughout the house (it’s a “Craftsman” style), but especially near the nice mantle which already has a large mirror, curtains and the adjoining, but distinct dining room which takes up a huge part of the front of the house.
6. Gardener to maintain the front yard is included  in the rent.
7. Rent is still hundreds of dollars cheaper than what I pay now, and even that is hundreds of dollars cheaper than what I was paying for a two bedroom/one bath fifth floor walkup on 97th Street in Manhattan!
8. There is a large, fully enclosed backyard with lots of twists and turns for our little dog Monte to enjoy.
9. Much of the backyard is cemented for our hot tub, porch swing, picnic table, bbq and other outside furniture.
10. The two car garage with an automatic door opener  is detached, completely empty and in great condition.  There is a normal door from the garage which leads right into the backyard and just steps away from the back door of the house.
11. There is tons of attic storage easily accessible from a door on the second floor.
12. There are two full baths.  The master bath has jets in the tub!  Both bathrooms have windows.
13. Alex will take the large bedroom on the first floor near the kitchen, which has a huge walk in closet.  The closet itself is like a room with a built in dresser AND A WINDOW!  She agrees that this is better than any dorm she would ever have.
14. I will take the upstairs rooms (my suite).  The smallest bedroom with maroon walls will be my office, and the master bedroom will easily accommodate my king-sized bed and other furniture.
15. I believe on a clear day you can see the Hayward Hills in one direction and San Francisco in the other.
16. Like where we live now, the closest BART station is two miles away, so I would expect to continue walking four miles a day to get exercise, although they do have free parking.
17. The house is also within a short drive to downtown Hayward, which actually has many ethnic restaurants, gay bars, and the best Lucky’s shopping center I’ve ever been to.  There’s also a farmer’s market by the new City Hall every weekend.
18. We are only blocks from San Lorenzo, San Leandro and Castro Valley (where we lived).
19. The house is two blocks from Mission Blvd., which, while it has many vacant commercial buildings, there is still a great deal of convenience that we just didn’t have where we were.
20. Because we are sandwiched at a crossroads 880 and 580 and 238 for that matter, we will not have to take 880 to get everywhere.  580 doesn’t have big trucks and is much more scenic, but getting to either is easy.
21. We will actually be slightly closer to San Francisco than where were were, while still close to the San Mateo Bridge and closer to my mother in southern Hayward.  We will be a few minutes further from my sister in Danville.