Bay Area Sojourns with Bobby
All posts by JHayden
How Nerdy Am I?
I am kind of embarrassed that I literally carry around five devices at the moment:
- Droid is my main phone.
- Torch blackberry for work.
- Iphone 3G which I’m using as an Itouch.
- 80G Ipod with well over 10,000 songs.
- Fancy Nikon digital camera.
I don’t see how I can really consolidate these things in the near future, and because no one but the Ipad really seems to give a rat’s ass about increasing battery life, I don’t know if I would want one device to carry that burden. Plus, if my data was not synched or lost on all of them, I’d be lost if one device was truly stolen.
Anyone using Scruff/Grindr?
I’m finding them interesting. I’ve been using my friend’s old Iphone 3G as an Itouch and remember some of the cool things about the iphone that I used to enjoy when I was provided one for free at work. My Droid has a couple of programs which try to do the same kind of GPS-gay-locating thing like Encountr and Purpll, but neither of them really have any critical mass, even in this gay Mecca of the Bay Area.
Bye-bye Cable Television
Most of what I watch is Hulu, CNN Video, NYTimes video, ComedyCentral.com, LogoOnline and MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow Show. So, inspired by a friend who has Netflix (like I used to ) and Hulu “premium” (I only use Hulu for many fewer dollars per month than what Comcast and other cable companies charge for television, I discontinued my cable tv service and I’m saving $100/month. I literally watch all of my shows on one pc or another (usually a laptop I bring around the house with me, even when I’m cooking and doing other chores). I watch everything online anyway and now I have a spare monitor my daughter can use on her laptop to use as an extra television, although she’s a little upset that we no longer have television in the living room. I’ve found playing dvd’s on laptops is far more reliable than the cheap dvd players I’ve bought in stores anyway, so there was no point in letting my flat screen TV languish. Therefore, it is main PC monitor now! As per this picture, it dominates my desk. I don’t have it all worked out yet, as I still need to fix the resolution with drivers. However, the manufacture web site “Element Electronics” doesn’t seem to have Windows 7 drivers for their television, probably because they didn’t expect a geek like me to use it as a main monitor on a daily basis.
Iran is still ready to stone a woman to death…
As if the bogus election that was stolen there wasn’t bad enough, there is still a possibility that concocted charges against a woman for alleged adultery may end in her brutal death by stoning. Coincidentally there is an eerily similar movie coming out about another Iranian woman who was killed this way, but the reality of these killings — which of course also can be concocted against men for alleged gay sex — is far more brutal than even the depiction in the movie. What kind of world do we live in? The lawyer defending the woman also had to flee the country and now his wife is being held in prison! This is complete anarchy, as far as I’m concerned, and very Draconian. This is why the modernization of Iran is held back by religion, just as it is in Italy, to a lesser extreme.
Oakland Pride
How often do you get to see the likes of Chaka Khan and Martha Wash for $5!? I’m so glad we went. My daughter and I took BART to 19th Street in Oakland. She overheard some guys say “follow the bear”. I met a few friends there and ran into a bunch of people I knew. I’m glad I didn’t bring my dog, because the music too loud for me. I can only imagine how hard it would have been for him.
Adventure Weekend in Big Bear Lake, CA
After surviving some headaches the first day and some more altitude sickness, or bad food which caused my last night to be pretty bed and sink-focused, I must say that all in all I had a wonderful time at the pool with old and new friends in a new environment in a part of California I’ve never been to before, even though it reminded me in several ways of Lake Tahoe.
I’m also glad my car made it, despite some brake “burning” on the way down the mountain and a noise which my brother now believes was the wheel bearing. My friend Ed and I traveled about 900 miles round trip taking the scenic route up and down California in my Buick.
Here are the pictures from my camera and from others who attended:
Dispelling the Suspected Right Wing Spies Among Us
A friend of mine was saying that a mutual acquaintance of ours who is very active in the gay community made some “decisions” that sometimes amazed him. Based on this acquaintance’s profile, he concluded that, like my friend’s step-mother, our acquaintance was a Sarah Palin supporter. Perplexed, I went to the acquaintance’s profile and clicked on the “Sarah Palin” link to discover that 37 of MY friends are supposedly “fans”. I looked carefully to make sure that it wasn’t a spoof page. After all, the woman is a caricature of herself, but it was indeed her official page. It was incredulous to me that some of these very outspoken, far left individuals, who make me look moderate, were supporters. Then I realized that without independently confirming the reason for their linking to this political page, it was not fair to assume that they were truly fans. Indeed, as a polisci major, I often watch FOX “News” to see what my enemies are formulating, even if it is very difficult to take seriously and stomach.
Looking through the 37 people I know (and I doubt I even know that many gay Republicans) and other friends of theirs who were linked to the page, I saw men with shirtless pictures and others with slutty, made-up sexual names, so I really doubt that these activist, extreme liberal individuals had anything but disdain for the woman, and probably just wanted to engage in watching the slow train wreck that is her life. One of them even publishes a smut magazine.
I agree in general that there are some unfortunate surprises when one discusses ideology even among gay men, but San Francisco resident, homosexually married, poly slores are generally not among them, to my relief.
Proud father of a working daughter with a car!!!
I’m so proud of Alexandra!!!
Soon after her 18th birthday in April she had taken her written and behind the wheel driver’s tests and passed both with her first try.
In June she graduated from Castro Valley High School.
By the time she graduated, she had secured a summer job as a paid intern at Camp Galileo in Oakland. After acclimating to what a “real” commute was like, she probably appreciated me a bit more, and she ended up loving her job there, getting an extension for a few weeks to what her original work schedule was supposed to be. She loved working with the kids and the professional educators, who gave her glowing recommendations.
She registered for community college in Oakland and got her classes. She will be taking 14 credits, which is full time, and so she started looking for a permanent part-time job.
Last week she interviewed for a couple of jobs in San Francisco and Berkeley, but she had been hounding me and nagging about needing a car, even though I was not all that convinced she “needed” one and that it was not my fault that she had chosen a college that was harder to reach with public transportation. Understandably she was a little concerned about whether it would be safe for her to finish class at 9pm once a week and take public transportation home.
So on a whim Saturday, we went to a few of the places where she noticed there were cheaper cars off the main strip by our house. We found a “wholesale” place where none of the cars had any Carfax reports available, but we realized that what we were budgeting, there was probably no use in trying to find a top of the line used car, which is what I consider the one I have to be.
Sunday we went back to look at the car that had intrigued us the most, and the nice saleslady walked us through the steps.
I made some financial sacrifices to buy her something, even though she was between jobs and we had no assurance that she would have any income in the coming months. I was also worried that she was being too picky about the kind of jobs she wanted and wasn’t looking locally enough. After consulting with a few friends and family members, like my brother, we decided that the car was a worthwhile investment. So Alex is now the very happy owner of a 2004 Mitsubishi Lancer ES, a car which is actually newer than mine, even though it has more miles than mine does. It seems to be very safe and in pretty darn good condition and Alex is elated and feels quite grown up with this new responsibility.
One day later (today), Alex heard back and she actually got the job she wanted the most! She will be working as an activity leader Monday through Friday in the afternoons for the entire academic year at Rosa Parks Elementary School in Berkeley with kindergarteners. This is a shorter and cheaper commute than she would have into San Francisco, and she is making more than she would be at that job. She is also considering taking a weekend job with some of her subsequent interviews, since that won’t conflict with her classes or primary job.
Next summer she is also hoping that the summer camp that she worked at this summer will higher her back at a position with more responsibility, so for the foreseeable future, she is very well prepared for the future, and I can’t contain how proud I am of her, even if we are both paying through the nose for the convenience of having a two car household at the moment.
Protected: Update on my friend Michael’s condition
I will be updating this posting when I hear more.
9-1-10: I’m happy to report that Michael came home last week and he’s almost back normal, although they STILL do not know why he blacked out precisely. He said it’s called “spinal” something. He didn’t remember falling, just being on his back and not feeling anything (he fell on his front side). Some neurological appointments are pending to review some tests, but basically he does not need physical therapy and he is only experiencing some light tingling in his fingers for which he is doing some exercises, as well as some exercises for his balance. He is able to walk fine. He has not returned to work yet.
8-18-10: Tomorrow he will be moved to a rehabilitation center in San Francisco (not sure of the name yet). He doesn’t have full use of his hands yet, but his voice sounded great and fully animated and I heard some optimism in him. He said he will update me with more information when he gets it.
16-Aug-2010: Many of you are concerned and have inquired about my friend Michael, who is a principal at a school in San Francisco, where he also lives. Yesterday his boyfriend, George, called me from the hospital, and then he put Michael on the phone. The plethora of tests are ongoing, but Michael sounded as sweet as ever and thanked me for inviting them to the party. I was just glad he was okay and feeling better, getting more feeling in all of his extremities, and sounding like he was going to be fine and out of the hospital before too long. It sounded like George was with him the whole time, which I was also glad to hear.
Some of you were there when he was standing right next to me, apparently having told George that he was not feeling well a few minutes earlier, and about to say good night to me. I had just noticed George preparing their things to part. Some of us were telling jokes in the kitchen so I thought that, on cue, Michael was bending over to belly laugh in response, but he just kept on going forward, and then, to our horror, we heard a big thud and realized it was him fainting as dead weight right onto his front side. I even thought for a minute that he had indeed laughed, but that he had lost his balance and would be getting right back up, but that did not happen, as many of us witnessed. I called 911 and we tried to make him as comfortable as possible, particularly with the help of Byron, who is a nurse, and suggested we elevate his feet. The ambulance got there just a few minutes later and took him to Eden Hospital in Castro Valley (which, from what I understand is a lot better than Saint Rose in Hayward). Eden is just a few blocks from where I used to live.
Michael is not diabetic, as some pondered, but he is epileptic. He had not had a seizure in many years and he had taken his medication on time Saturday. He was wearing a nicotine patch. The medical professionals still don’t know if he had a stroke or what exactly happened. They seemed skeptical that it was a seizure, because none of us saw him shake. So for now it remains a mystery as to what exactly caused the incident and his subsequent temporary loss of feeling in his limbs. I wouldn’t be surprised if the fall itself caused a concussion. There was absolutely nothing to break his fall to the hard kitchen floor, but surprisingly it looked like there was relatively little injury to his face. His glasses did not break, but he was bleeding in the mouth, as he may have cracked one or more teeth. His blood pressure when he left on the stretcher was only 73/40, I overheard. They were giving him fluids through an IV.
Michael Eddings is a very thoughtful person who touched me when he overheard how I had been mourning the loss of Michael Jackson. Eddings has been an online friends for many years (since before I returned to California), but when he heard that I had taken myself by surprise with being so overwhelmed by Jackson’s death and noted that I barely had any MJ music in my possession because it had been the soundtrack to my life and had always seemed to be there whether or not I played it myself, Eddings made me several CD’s with dozens of Jackson songs, which I eagerly and immediately added to my music rotation. We’ve chatted regularly ever since and hung out several times. He had also been to my birthday celebration at my place in Castro Valley. I just thought it was such a thoughtful gesture to someone who, at the time, he barely knew, and when I hear a Jackson song come from music library I often remember that Eddings was the source.