Category Archives: Family

Activism, Family, Health, Memoriam, Tobacco

Dad Gone 34 Years

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Thanks to Big Tobacco, today marks THIRTY-FOUR years since my dad has been gone because of his smoking. He was only 50 years old when he died (the same age as his mom from her smoking), so he could very reasonably be alive today at 84.

This is one of my favorite pictures of him with me. He knew how much I hated his smoking and he thought it was funny when I would draw “Cancer Cures Smoking” signs and tape them to his nightstand. One year for MY birthday, he bought a smoking cessation kit for himself, because he knew how much I wanted him to stop, and this was all before his quintuple bypass at age 48.

Even that didn’t stop him from resuming smoking a month later and within two years an aortic aneurysm caused him to hemorrhage to death in rush-hour traffic on Highway 92 here in the Bay Area. He never regained consciousness and it turned my entire family’s lives upside down, including my immigrant mother who was somewhat lost without him. I had no choice but to step up and protect her and her household with my two younger siblings, so I grew up very fast knowing at that moment what I wanted to concentrate on with my activism when I went to law school (I was still in college on the other side of the country).

Daughter, Fire, Friends, Streisand

Perfect Barbra Gift

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How amazing is Teena, who gifted me the exact Barbra Streisand doll in a sailor suit that I had inches from where the fire started in my home? Just like the one I had for twenty years, this one was still in the box! We had to guess a number from the waiter and I lost, so she ended up getting our amazing lunch for us at Provisions in Vallejo with her husband, J.D. I had to hold back tears at the perfection of this gift, just a few weeks before my birthday.

You can only imagine the number of sailor suits I made sure that my daughter, Alexandra, wore. Below is a picture of Alex when she is two (thirty years ago) wearing one of those sailor suits in front of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in Manhattan. I remember her walking in public for one of the first times in this photo and she was such a sight to behold that an entire busload of tourists were fixated on her.

Family, Holidays, Pets, Scooter

Hayden Family Xmas 2023

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Shando and I had a wonderful xmas gathering yesterday at my sister’s house in Granite Bay. My nephew is only 16 and towers over all of us. My brother, sister and I are there with their kids, Brooke and Nicholas, and my brother-in-law, Ken. It looks like everyone got the memo to wear grey, but my niece is actually wearing maroon (you just can’t see it in this photo).

We brought the foldable electric scooter which Shando finally agreed to try on the flat street in my sister’s neighborhood. I think he was afraid to say how much he loved it, but he is always worried about breaking a bone, since he’s proud that he has never had to wear a cast in his life.

We brought two of our senior dogs, Polar and Capulet. My sister’s brown-spotted dog Ricki was reticent about the company, but she and Polar fell in love and played a ton, which was nice to see. My brother brought Mocha, the little chihuahua mix, who was more aloof. I listened carefully to the video to make sure we protected those we were gossiping about. They are not identifiable from this video. 🙂

Gifts for my niece and nephew (from “Guncles”):

Family, Memoriam

Morbid Anniversary

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Today makes seven years since I lost my mom to fucking cancer (ovarian). She was only 73, so she would have been 80 this December. 🙁 I was named after my mother, Giuseppina, and she was named after my Nonno, Giuseppe. I was a huge momma’s boy. We spoke all day in chat when I was at work for YEARS, not to mention at least a few calls a day even when she was visiting Italy or I was living on the East Coast.

The guy with the beer in the picture below is my dad, of course. We lost him way too early from his smoking. He was only 50, so my mom was widowed at age 47. Both my parents died before one of their own parents, so I had the most unfortunate duty of consoling my Nonna (in my mom’s case) and my grandfather (in my dad’s case) over the loss of their offspring. Continents and decades apart, I heard them both scream about how it should have been them instead.

Activism, Daughter

Candidate Jackie Elward Chat

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The United Democrats of Southern Solano had a great chat with Jackie Elward. Among other things, this was a very personal dialog where I shared a very personal story of my own that Jackie and I have dealt with — namely our biracial children being teased.

She starts talking about her son’s ideation from being bullied around 9:20 into the video and I get to respond to a few things that she said around the 30 minute mark.